How Did You Do That?

It is my conceit that everyone wonders: "How did you get knocked up at 42 years old?" And that they assume it was through in-vitro fertilization. I imagine the people behind the cash registers at Target and Sun Harvest and everywhere I go with my son, silently judging me for having grey hair, wrinkles, and a toddler. The other day, I took him to get some shoes and look at toys, and the clerk came over and saw him looking at a giant stuffed elephant with longing. I was explaining "We can put this on your Christmas List" when she said, "You know how to insure you'll get that? Tell Grandma. She'll be here tomorrow." I wasn't sure if she meant *me* as grandma; it was, so to speak, a "grey area" moment.