Okay, Just So You Know

Went to the obgyn today and all is looking good.

I didn't want to know how much weight I've gained, thanks but no thanks, so I looked the other way while the nurse checked. And I've lost 2 pounds! Wow. Unbelievable. I'm feeling so gigantic. And last night we had a late diner dinner of Boca burgers, salads, and fries.

My blood pressure remains a low 110/60. My swollen feet are not a worry, I just need to drink (even) more water. I've been feeling the Braxton Hicks tightening in my uterus for several days now -- especially under the full moon! -- but they really do come and go. So I'm not as freaked out about them as I was at first.

And then I asked Dr. Weihs to see if she could tell which position my baby was in. After a moment of palpation, she said she thought his head was down, with his shoulder somewhere near the top of my pubic bone -- if there's a rhythmic pulsing there from time to time, and there is, it's usually hiccups and that is usually the shoulder -- plus where she felt the bulge of his butt and the location of his kicks...his back is facing my front, which is what I was hoping for.

I can feel his toes tickling my ribs. A couple of times this has made me cry out in shock. It's just such a strange feeling, and happens so unexpectedly.

Of course babies change positions constantly, even during labor.

Baby moves around a LOT, ya'll. I'm counting his kicks. He is supposed to move 10 times within 2 hours, which I am supposed to check on at least once a day. I usually do this first thing in the morning, and baby likes to sleep first thing in the morning, so I drink a lot of cold water and start jostling him around.


We'll get another detailed ultrasound at 36 weeks to see that he's developing at a blessed rate, and have some tests done.

We had a great, lengthy meeting with our doula last night about birth preferences and creating our birth plan.

Our doc is so flexible and experienced, we feel totally confident that our wishes will be honored.

This is another great thing about being a 43-year old first time mom; I know for a fact that nobody's opinion about what we should do during labor and delivery is going to hurt my feelings if I disagree with it. I also know that I am no pushover.

I have one more thing to say...that I honestly have never longed to be older or younger than the age I am, no matter what age I am. I saw "Stardust" with my BFF Donna the other night, and while I thought it was lovely and escapist, I am really sick and tired of seeing older women portrayed as old ugly witches, longing to be young and beautiful again, and willing to go to any length to do so. I have never felt that way in my life.

I've noticed, sure, that my status as a babe diminished once I hit 25, but I've never longed to be anything other than what I am. Sometimes I am shocked when I see a middle-aged woman in the mirror and realize that it's ME, but I also know that I feel more centered, fulfilled, complete, sexy, all those things, than I ever did before.

I'd love to see women unite on this issue someday. And meanwhile, I still love watching "Rock of Love with Bret Michaels."

Overwhelm

Friends,

We just finished, tonight, our last childbirthing class, "Conscious Birthing." I am in the middle of an intensive studying jag for an exam that is not pregnancy-related and I have to take it tomorrow. I will post an entry about the beautiful Mama Daddy Baby Blessing that we had on Sunday asap.

Thank you for your patience!

The Remover of Obstacles

We're a happy family, we're a happy family...

I have been thinking nonstop of Ganesh, the Hindu deity who is said to be "the remover of obstacles." He's the little elephant-headed guy (see right) who also happens to be the son of Shiva and Shakti/Parvati. (also see right)

I'm thinking of how my growing boy is going to be our baby Ganesh; in our childbirthing classes we've been talking about how, in the labor and delivery process, Andrew will be holding the space in the truest sense of supportive, steady masculine/Shiva energy, and how I will be in full-blast creative/expansive/dance of life Shakti mode. And the baby will be blasting through all of the obstacles, leaving a miracle in his wake.

Nesting and Napping

It's been almost a whole week since I wrote!

It has been a rollercoaster; we packed for days and days on end, then finally moving day -- Wednesday, August 15 -- arrived.

After a somewhat harrowing experience with our unscrupulous movers who took four hours and worked till almost midnight Wednesday night, we're here.

Still catching up on missed sleep; we both pulled two all-nighters in a row. (I guess we'd better get used to being sleep-deprived.) I was so put off by the movers, and feeling so vulnerable that by midnight I insisted that we stay in a hotel room. There was still so much to do by the time they finally left that it was our only hope for getting a little rest.

BUT NOW we're all moved in (well, almost; we still need to clear out our storage space) and we woke up super happy to be here this morning!!!

Even Tito, our spoiled chihuahua, seems to have adjusted, happy to have taken his customary morning constitutional, ate his breakfast, and has ensconced himself in dad's lap while dad works from home today. Right now, as I type this, he has crammed his entire body into my lower back and couldn't be happier; the little weirdo loves to be swaddled.

Which brings me to the next topic, our computers and cable. Guy came out yesterday, set up our cable, and left. We have internet access, but the DVR he gave us is not working. Long story short, we are able to plug in our tv, get cable, and someone will come out with a
new DVR this weekend. My TV jones is fixed! I can watch Bret Michaels "Rock of Love!"

And as you can see, we have internet access so all is well with the world. A. can work from home, in his boxers if he so chooses.

And, luckily for me, he does choose. The man looks good in a pair of boxers.

Our land line phone is still not working. We will need to have the phone companay come out and install jacks.

We had a nice exchange with the plumber, who turned on our hot water heater (yay showers!) and our washing machine. YES we are planning on getting one of those "On Demand" water heaters this summer. But for now, YES we have hot water. And A. will soon have clean clothes.

We have a million boxes lying around and I still haven't located all of my dishes. So we have to eat out for now (awww, shucks) but luckily we are minutes away from the BEST MIGAS in town. So that was our breakfast today.

I had my bi-monthly visit with my obgyn yesterday and everything looks great. I'm doing very well. My latest neurosis is that I'm leaking amniotic fluid; by sheer coincidence this neurosis emerged just after I read the 31-week chapter in "Your Week By Week Pregnancy." Instead of telling you all the wonderful things that are going on with you and your baby, they tell you all the horrible things that could be going wrong.

Anyway. The baby is very active, and my belly button, which we figured was just gonna stretch out and flatten, is slowly starting to pop out, just like a butterball turkey.

(For those of you who don't remember or never knew what my belly button looks like, it used to be a very deep Innie.)

We will take more pictures soon. We went to our next-to-last hypnobirthing class last night, and will finish both that and conscious birthing classes soon. I have to say, waterbirthing just seems so right.

We'll be meeting potential pediatricians in the next couple of weeks, and we'll meet with our doula, go over our birth plan/preferences with our doctor, tour the hospital, take a breastfeeding class, and learn CPR for infants.

We're a couple of class-takin' fools!

"The Comet" -- as they like to call me -- continues.

The house is great; we're having to address all of the electrical/plumbing/infrastructure stuff right away. The man who owned it before us lived in it from the time he bought it in 1956 until he passed away in 2006. It seems he was quite a character. And he certainly took sweet and loving care of his home. But he also sort of gerry-rigged a bunch of stuff, and
we're fixing all of that.

The back porch and the back (and front) yard are fabulous. We have pecan trees, an oak tree, cactus, lantana, wild garlic, shrimp plants, a plum tree and some other hearty plants all over. There is a stone flower bed in back that would be perfect for growing herbs and vegetables. Our plumeria, which is blooming and smelling sooo sweet, got a little mangled in the move, but has perked up. We also brought over my giant jasmine plant, bouganvillea,
wild aloe, queen's tears, and A's special baby crape. I can't wait to garden.

Yes, I said "garden." Me. The indoorsy girl.

There is a health food store right around the corner from us; not as huge a selection as Whole Foods, but good enough and much cheaper.

A. and I keep marveling at how little time it takes us to get anywhere from our new city pad; unlike the old pad, which was way out in suburbia, and took us 20-30 minutes no matter what.

So now my life consists of alternating between Nesting and Napping, Nesting and Napping.

And it couldn't be better.

Here Comes the Son

In yoga philosophy there's a lot of talk about the Sun. Surya.

When we do our Sun Salutations, aka Surya Namaskar, we are acknowledging the brilliance of that light both outside and inside. When we say "Namas Te" we are acknowledging the same thing; the radiance of the Self, which recognizes the divine light in all of existence. "Te" actually refers to the individual version of that radiance, "tejase." "Namaskar" is to honor, recognize, bow down to.

There's a lot of talk about the light of consciousness being brighter even than 10,000 suns.

That's bright.

Lately I've been feeling my son move around a lot inside me. I am awed by this.

I am awed by knowing that the spark of consciousness is inside him, animating his limbs, communicating with me in a way I have never experienced before.

When we were trying to conceive, I had many conversations with the Universe and with all those souls floating around, waiting to get in. I wanted them to know that this will be a very yogic birth and yogic family life with meditation and spiritual practice at its center. That the community of family and friends here will support a life lived on the spiritual path.

I want my son to know that we know he is the Sun itself, a luminous, life-giving, tapas-firing force.

In the yoga sutras, where there is tapas, or fire, or discipline, there is also svadhyaya, or self-study, and both are closely linked to ishvara pranidhana, or absolute surrender to God. This pregnancy has featured all three niyamas (self-observances) from the beginning, and will continue to do so through labor, delivery, birth, and raising the little man.

Moving Daze

Today was Packing Day.

Sweltering hot, sizzlean, swollen feet Packing Day.

And it will continue through Tuesday night.

My aunt, her husband, and son all came over today to pick up some miscellaneous furniture we didn't want to move. Matt, my cousin, is a sophomore (or is it junior?) at UT and his parents came and moved his stuff for him. So they had a trailer and were nice enough to load up our goods and haul them away.

It brought back fond memories of all the times my poor mom came to Austin and moved my stuff, almost singlehandedly. Inevitably each trip featured some sort of mishap; like the time the mattress stuck on top of the car came off while going downhill.

Etc.

Even though moving can be gritty, gross, and a lot of poopy work, I still enjoy it. I am obviously not lifting anything heavy, merely commanding the husband and watching him do all the heavy lifting and tedious sorting. We have cleared out a lifetime's worth of junk. And it feels goooood! I can't wait to get into the new house and let my nesting instinct kick in FULL FORCE.

I must have sent 10 boxes of clothing to Goodwill at this point.

And the baby already has a bunch of cute stuff that people keep sending us! I love it!

I think he's moving over to the left, incidentally. I did a "bellymapping" of his position in my belly, and most of this time it has seemed like he's on the right. But lately, I'm seeing the bump that I think may be his butt on the left. And that is where we want him!

Ladies, you can do preggers yoga to move the baby around to optimal fetal positioning. And that is exactly what I've been doing.

Complainte

Not to bitch about the heat in every blog entry but

GOOD LORD!

I implore you people to STOP driving your gas guzzling cars, STOP the building of coal plants in Texas, switch over to wind energy and in general do everything you can to stop the warming of this planet! Texas leads the country in carbon emissions...yeah, we're Number One.

Calculate your OWN carbon footprint on the earth and make changes accordingly.

If you live in Texas, you have Green Choice.

And then PLEASE let's vote those oil baron bastards out of every office on every level, and get started on cleaning this place up! For the sake of The Children...

Whhhoooooops

Pregnancy hormones...or what?

I just went to the bathroom and peed all over my undies. I forgot to pull them down. My Pants? Down, yes. Undies? No.


I think this may even top my latest trick: sneezing with a mouth full of food, spattering half-digested matter all over self and nearby surfaces. (Windshield of car, etc.)

Lord, That Felt Gooood

I finally went to see my friend Rasa for a massage today.

She has been offering. I've been so convoluted I haven't taken her up on it...until today.

She has such a strong yet gentle touch. It felt like she was working in my (oh so sore) hips at a deeper level, a level I needed to go to today, apparently. And I've never mentioned that my right shoulder has been out of whack from the very beginning of the pregnancy; she really worked it and it feels 10000 times better!

Then at the end of the massage she brought her tambora in and sang me a little chant! The baby just drank it all in.

Extra hot, extra tired today.

But life? She is SWEET.

I know I'm supposed to be relaxing now, but we move a week from TODAY so I want to pack all of my clothes, toiletries, books and dishes. Oddly enough, that sounds like FUN to me.

Conscious Birthing

Today was a good day.

Hot as fuck, but still. Good.

Baby's rolling around in my belly more, baby daddy making nothing but progress on our upcoming move, and I got some blessed sleep after a night of mostly tossing and turning.

My hips really only hurt when I first wake up.

We did our Conscious Birthing class tonight and it was a lot of fun. Tonight was "Coyote Night," where all the preggers moms got to practice wailing and vocalizing as though in labor, and dadas got to observe and then later support.

We also made a list of 7 things that we wanted to bring with us into the hospital...and then slowly, one by one, we had to let go of those things until we were left naked and alone. Not literally...at least not in our teacher's living room. Though naked we may well be by the time our baby is born.

It's in very direct contrast to the Hypnobirthing techniques, which do seem to promote silence and going within rather than external yelping, moaning, and wailing.

I'd like to be able to do whichever strikes my fancy at the time.

I can imagine, after all the years of yoga and meditation practice, wanting and being able to go deeper within, to immerse.

And I can also imagine, after all the years of yoga and meditation and PERFORMANCE, wanting to really let go of my inhibitions and VOCALIZE.

See the Baby Dance

Yesterday was hot, hellish, miserable day of lots of driving and slogging around town. At one point we even walked through hot tar.

But the baby was doing acrobatics! And it was fun, during one brief reprieve, for us to watch my belly shift and roll as he moved.

Our hypnobirthing instructor sent out a link to a website that teaches moms how to "map" their baby's location in the belly. I wanna do this! Check it out.

From Hercules's actions, I'd say his butt is sticking up to the right of my belly button, with his head pointing down and his arms reaching out to tickle and nudge my left inguinal ligament and/or my left ribcage. His feet often do a drumbeat on my right side, though there is a lot of heavy thumping in the very middle of my abdomen just above the pubic bone.

The Last Dance

I taught my last yoga class of the year today.

It was fun; I decided to offer a real kickbutt class with arm balances and backbends. It was a "Full On Celebration."

The class mostly consisted of regular students, with a couple of brand newbies. The newbies really hung in there.

I intended to kick it off with a rockin' remix of "I Just Want to Celebrate," but the CD I put in for them was the wrong one, so we ended up doing lots of sun salutations to the Beastie Boys "Hey Ladies."

Ahh, it was kind of fun.

I had them do galavasana and parsva bakasana, urdhva dhanurasana and setu bandasana. Among other things.

It was a sweaty good time. My mentee shaved his head! He went from long blond hair to nada. That was quite a surprise.

I love my students.

And now, a nap.

She's Leaving

Well, had my FLUP visit with my obgyn today, and my cervix, according to her, still feels about 50 percent thinned. "Which could be normal for you," she emphasized.

Yet, after my day yesterday of teaching and just being out and about in general in the boiling heat, I've decided to take my maternity leave early...starting next week!

I think this is the right decision. I don't want to push myself any further, and it really feels like it's time to cocoon and just gestate.

Plus we are MOVING in 13 days.

I still have so much I'd like to do before the baby is born.

And I really hope he decides to wait until his due date.

Meanwhile, I got to hang out with my friend Ravyn, who is in her first trimester, and have Pregnant Lady Talk. It was awesome. We drove around the neighborhood where our new house is located, and she was calling herself "the concierge" of the neighborhood as she pointed out good eats, great vintage shops, and cool coffee houses. I love it. It's fun showing off the new house to friends. The response has been very enthusiastic, which affirms my belief that we got a great house.

Google Challenge

I am issuing this challenge not only to myself, but to all pregnant mothers-to-be out there.

Whenever I'm "curious" about a symptom or a problem, and I feel that impulse to "just" google it...I AM GOING TO STOP MYSELF!

Ignorance will become Bliss.

Not Eating Bon Bons All Day Long

It's scorching hot out there, friends.

After a reprieve of cool, cool rain all summer (and well, a little too much flooding) the Texas Summer is back with a vengeance.

And it's hellish for this pregnant mama!

I taught my noon class today, and I'm about to head out the door for my 6 pm class, and well...I'm feeling sooooooooooooper exhausted, in fact. I was going to take my maternity leave September 1st, but I may have to do it sooner. I just can't serve the students as well if I'm this grouchy and tired. Plus it's not easy on little Hercules.

Like all things in Pregnancy Land, this is an unexpected turn.

So Friday could be It, my last singular, pre-mom persona class!

Then....bring on the bon bons.