Thanks, Thanks a Lot

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, the second one we've hosted at our home. Since we moved in just over three years ago. I love throwing parties; for me that means gathering a huge amount of food, various friends, setting up tables and chairs and music and then...waiting. For whomever to show up. I was a little bit surlier than average this week because of it, but other than that it was a pleasure rather than a stressor. And I have discovered the joys of RECIPES.

I went gluten-free almost six months ago, with the occasional transgression bringing about an itchy, swollen tongue, spaciness, and a general feeling of dis-ease. I tested it out last weekend during our anniversary dinner with some French bread -- yep -- and then again last night with some cornbread stuffing. Yep. Don't know yet what it all means, except I definitely don't miss that feeling. And I really don't miss gloo-tang.

I also took Bodhi off the G; after his teacher told us she thought he had sensory integration issues, a trusted advisor suggested it, and I researched it, and my SIL put her autism-spectrum-disorder sons on it to great effect, so...we did it. And as far as I'm concerned there's no going back. He also had a taste of G during dinner yesterday, and was almost immediately out of control. For a couple of hours.

Listen, it could all be my imagination. The food industry wouldn't knowingly add ingredients to what we eat if they could cause any harm, right? Food hasn't changed since we were kids in the seventies, right?

In lighter conspiracy theory musings, when I posted on FB that my "traditional" Thanksgiving dinner list of ingredients included such items as dry mustard, hemp milk, and sweet rice flour, a friend living in NYC responded that "GF is so trendy in NYC right now I couldn't find sweet rice flour anywhere; the Whole Foods shelves were empty!" Which made me laugh.

All of this to say we had a wonderful, barely fractious gathering of family, friends, and fantastically delicious foods. We even ended up playing Cranium with my cousin Missy's two daughters.

On a sad note, I often feel like my family has mutated since my Dad died. We have jokingly said, "Surely Dad wasn't the glue that held us all together!" But I think it is proving to be true. My mother spends more time chasing after her own  mother these days, and my brother is a little bit missing in action. He's lost three jobs in the time since our Dad departed, and I only ever speak to him if and when he returns my calls. I miss him.

It is interesting how connected I feel to my cousins after giving birth to Bodhi; I'm the oldest girl of six girlcuzzes, and all but one of the eligible five after me had already had kids. (Several of the boys have been fathers for a while.) I'm excited to get Bodhi together with his second cousins now. He digs it. My cousin Missy and her family just moved to right outside of Waco, about an hour and a half's drive from here. She has made the trek to visit us at least half a dozen times, and I love it. She is a strong, compassionate woman. Been through some harrowing shit in her day. Just became a GRANDMOTHER, of all things. She's the first of us to do that. Theressa, born just recently. I love that Missy has reached out to me and that we are more connected now. Her knowledge of herbs and supplements and food is admirable. Though of course since she is my cousin I have to get huffy and competitive about it. (I can be a dumbass like that sometimes.) We love that we're holding down the vegetarian end of our carnivorous clan.

What my body needs now is a yoga practice. I woke up having dreamed of doing backbends! I'm all in love with Inner Spiral right now. Oh sure, I've spent some time with I.S. but lately it's been a lot more intense and important.  It's like suddenly realizing that this great friend I have is actually sexy, and now we wanna be together as More Than Friends. Like that. It's the Expanding Spiral. So not only am I making more room and creating more freedom in my own body -- it's also the ultimate principle for Fertility, I've learned -- but in my Life as well.

Yay for that.

My body continues to change, post partum. I had a regular period last cycle, the first one in a year. I felt so relieved, so complete again. Then with this cycle came intense abdominal pain, an ultrasound, a gallbladder cleanse and intensive acupuncture and herbs. And no bleeding. Until today. Almost two weeks later than expected. Hot flashes all last week and stress through the roof. Also a couple of loving, uplifting yoga practices and a massage. So changing is just riding the rollercoaster a little better. And eating a lot more green and fresh food. Except of course for cornbread stuffing and French bread.

I still dream of having another baby, which is still an argument with my husband that no one can win. Perhaps my fears about Bodhi growing up and older alone without a sibling are part of my motivation to connect him with his family. He seems to love it, though, as I did when I was small. I just think, sometimes, that as an older parent I may not be around another 46 years to see him through some tough times. Though I hope to.

Mini Update

My mom sent me the sweetest emails last night and today.

She is going through some tough times right now.

Godspeed, Ma!

I'm still feeling emotional, but it's getting better. Got my laptop hooked up on wireless so I can wander around the house with it and work from anywhere I want. Yay Andrew, my IT guy.

I'm experimenting with keeping the television off and have put some soothing yogic music on instead. It's very nice.

And tonight I'm cooking up vegetarian soul food. I'm pretty good at it, ya'll. We'll have navy beans with cayenne and onion, turnip greens and turnip bits, and somethin' else. Cornbread? Rice? Mmmm, those beans cooking in the kitchen sure smell good. And they're gonna keep smelling good for another 45 minutes.

I make a delicious okra and tomatoes dish with FAKE bacon.



Jai ma.