Thursday, January 22, 2009

Fifteen. Months. Old.



Wow, my tiny boy has reached another milestone age!

He is becoming more articulate in every way, every day.

He's verbal, even though I don't know what he's saying most of the time.

He signs for milk, dog, eat, and drink water. He's really got the dog thing down. He can hear Tito, our crazed chihuahua, barking in the other room, look at me, snap his fingers in the sign for "dog," and imitate his bark. "Yes, darling," I tell him with a smile.

I'm practicing the yoga of not pressuring myself to do too much today. I think checking out a preschool first thing this morning, and getting a massage around lunchtime is plenty. Plus I'll have my own practice and go teach class later tonight. (I am eschewing Thursday group practice today; there is also a dance group starting on Thursdays of hilarious chicks that I'd like to do, too. I think I may have to alternate!)

He loves to climb. Anything. But especially his dad's old white vinyl couch. It just so happens to be where Tito likes to sit, perched on his tigerstripe pillow, waiting for the inquisitive baby to poke at him so he can snap and growl at someone closer to his own size.

B is really good at expressing happiness, silliness, joy, frustration, anger, not wanting to go to bed, not wanting to leave the playground, wanting to go to music class, not wanting to sit in the carseat, wanting to sit in the carseat, loving the prospect of eating, hating the safety belts on the highchair.

A couple of his favorite songs seem to be "She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain" and "Low Rider."

He loves to clap when there's a communication breakthrough. He likes to hold court in his highchair, especially when there's a crowd. If he starts clapping, we all start clapping. He likes that.

He likes spinach. Likes it. And cantaloupe, and strawberries, and tortellini. Sometimes all in one bowl or mouthful.

Bodhi has a new sitter he really likes now. I'm trying to find balance so I can work and play while she's around. It's not easy. I love my son with a painful aching love, and I hate being apart from him, even when I'm sick of him and sick of myself. But he so enjoys other people, and he so enjoys experimenting and figuring things out. I really want him to have the preschool experience. And I gotta say, I LOVED this teacher. I have high hopes. I think he will thrive.


One of his life's greatest pleasures is picking up leaves from the living room floor, putting them in his Radio Flyer wagon, then wheeling it over to our front door mailslot and putting the leaves out through the mailslot. It's like we hired him to do this. He'll do it for a nice long stretch of time, and even get a little drool going. One of our parent friends told us, after they sat him one evening, that he had remarkable "focus." It's true! He also likes to push his little plastic wagon all over the back yard.

He's becoming more interested in puzzles, has almost figured out how to get small pieces into their proper spots; he likes crayons, and not just for eating but also for making lines and marks on paper; he'll turn any surface he sees into a drum; he loves to pretend he's calling his grandmother on mommy's cellphone; he looooves sliding down slides all by himself; he loves racing as fast as he can across any open field we happen to visit; he'll take the open field over the playscape any day; he prefers to eat with grownup forks and spoons than -snort- children's utensils; he cracks up when his mom says "Ma bouche," and points to her mouth, then "Ta bouche," and points to his mouth.

He can show you his ears, nose, toes, bellybutton and your eyes. Your ear. Your toes.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inauguration Day



















Spent the morning with mamas and babies in celebration of our New President! But mostly in celebration of GOOD RIDDANCE to the old Evil Empire. (I thought Dick Cheney in his wheelchair looked just like Mr. Potter in "It's a Wonderful Life.")

I couldn't help it; I burst into tears. I always thought I'd see our first black president or first woman president in my lifetime. Now that it is here, it is moving beyond words.

Bodhi clapped and cheered along with the rest of us.

I so wanted to feel completely joyous on this occasion, but it makes my heart heavy to know that Obama's team chose Rick Warren to lead the invocation. It just made it all feel like two steps forward...one step back. Of course, it all remains to be seen.

For once in my life I am proud to be an American.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

New Mama Poetics: FIGHT

[FIGHT]

I give up. The sleep, the coffee, the confounding ever-present stink of dog pee near my head, somewhere. Everywhere? I can't seem to pull my true self out so she can be the one, the one to kiss and make everything better for every one; she instead of this multiheaded hydra hag of a mother, this snaggletoothed bloodthirsty mean kali ma, mean cloverfield momzilla ma, this dehydrated self pitying furious cursing talks to herself ma. where oh where can my true self be, oh where oh where has she gone? if i dig down deep i am still sweet, the dirty dishes are still a part of my spiritual path and not a conspiracy to unravel my soul.

Friday, January 9, 2009

My Best Of 2008

Here it is, off the top of my unbrushed and muddled head: a quick "Year in Review." Sort of.

I have contributed to "Best Of" for the LA Times, the Austin Chronicle and for the Houston Press in the past; since I became a mom my status as an arbiter of what is best for the literate and urbane has changed dramatically. I hardly ever get to see a movie in its first-run, I have read two works of fiction since I gave birth, I have no idea who the most current indie rock lords may be, much less what Taylor Swift or Ne-Yo or even Katy Perry sounds like...my "Best Of" mostly involves parenting blogs, (thank you, Berkeley parents!) HBO, cloth diapering, microwaveable organic food, kid-friendly parks and playgrounds, babyproofing gadgets, postnatal yoga, early childhood music classes, music for children in general, parenting literature, and postpartum service providers. My favorite restaurants are the ones with the cleanest, sturdiest, and best-equipped changing tables and high chairs...


Not exactly cutting edge insider info for the savvy masses.

So it was a surprise and an honor when my poet/musician friend Jimo, who has a radio show in Northern California, asked me via facebook for my "Best of 2008," music or otherwise, to announce on the air. Here's what I sent him:


1. "once," the film and the swell season soundtrack
2. "in bruges"
3. barack obama
4. wanda sykes comes out!
5. bret michaels "rock of love"
6. tv on the radio
7. fleet foxes
8.neko case
9. eric carle's children's books
10. anusara yoga
11. the siva sutras
12. "wondertime" parenting magazine
13. "dharma punx"
14. anne waldman's new book
15. red hot blues chips
16. paul rudd
17. hafiz and even more hafiz
18. revisiting cat stevens

other music i like: mercan dede, dusty springfield, sonny and cher, jenny lewis, feist, death cab, ray charles, manu chao, benedictine monks, jai uttal, dave stringer, leonard cohen, high fidelity lounge, dinah washington

What's YOUR 2008 Best Of, Mamas?

The Maternal is Political

I'm getting ready to do a reading next week at Bookwoman:

Time: Saturday, January 17, 2009 7:00 p.m.
Location: BookWoman
Title of Event: The Maternal is Political

Celebrate the inauguration with a night for unruly mothers (and the people who love them) at Texas's only feminist bookstore! Featuring Shari MacDonald Strong (editor of The Maternal Is Political and senior editor at Literary Mama magazine) and Marrit Ingman (Inconsolable) reading selections from The Maternal Is Political; and from the Dick Monologues, Kristine Kovach, Liz Belile, and Sonya Feher.

Come rejoice with us over the ending of the old presidential administration, the beginning of a promising new one, and the dawn of a new political era in which women and mothers will be more involved, and more influential, than ever before!


In preparation for the reading, I found this awesome piece about how Barack Obama's politics reflect current philosophies and theories for modern-day parenting. I have definitely found that his principles of mutual respect, taking the high road, offering hope and co-creating solutions all fit with both my yoga and my parenting practices.

And of course, we always need a CHANGE.

Monday, January 5, 2009

That's Right, I Farted

My worst nightmare came to pass, and I just thought you'd want to know.

I queefed. In class. Tonight. In front of everyone.

I went to my Monday night sweatflow class, and Mandy was teaching it. Wonderful, sweet, fabulous teacher Mandy. Well. She made a point to honor me before we started, saying it was great to have me in her class blah blah, then when it came time to lift up from prasarita padottanasana (standing forward bend with legs wide apart) into sirsasana II (tripod headstand), she asked me to demo, while she assisted. So of course, I did. It went well, and when I came down...poofs. Of air. Coming out of my katy*. Loud. For a long time.

"I just gave birth, not too long ago" I said, by way of explanation to the class of almost-all women. And then "Oh well, it happens!"

Mandy, God bless her, said "I've never even given birth and it happens to me!" Some of the other lady students nodded in sympathy. It was so obvious I couldn't even play it off like it was my foot scraping the floor, or someone else's poon doing the poofing. It did happen to me once during Christina's Immersion, but the sound was localized to a small area of the room that consisted primarily of new mom yoginis, a couple of whom were also prone to queefing.

At any rate, I think I do pretty well for someone who had a third degree episiotomy.

*Oh, let me explain "katy."

In my erotica writing workshop, we often start the series by sharing with the group what our mothers (or we) called our vaginas when we were little. This exercise is inspired in part by the Vagina Monologues where Eve Ensler claims to be worried about vaginas; during her research for the play, she discovered that women had lots of crazy names for their pee-pees, coochies, poonannies, twats, privates, "down there," etc, so she decided to give voice to that. I am particularly interested in language and how our sexuality emerges, so I'll ask my group of students (or, lately, friends) what they called their chotches, and it will lead to a discussion and some thought into "huh" and childhood attitudes and perceptions and so on. Well, my mom called mine/ours "the katy." I don't know where this came from. I will have to ask.

I will tell you that one time my mom caught me on the bathroom floor with a box of tampons, trying to poke one at my crotch through my diaper. She said "What are you doing?" And I said "I'm trying to put on the katy stick!" Apparently I'd seen the illustration with instructions for that and was giving it a whirl.

So back to this evening, and my katy farts.

It was potentially humiliating, but I'll tell ya, after giving birth with all those people in the room watching us, nothing like that gets to me anymore. Not really.

And yes, I pooped while I was pushing. (Another one for the FAQ, which I am working on!)

Obligatory Ultrasound Photo: Shoulderstand at 16 weeks!