Out of the Woods?

Friends--

As many of you know, we experienced a very difficult, very traumatic labor and birth. I do blame the medical institutionalization of birth for it, and I will write the story and post it here for you to read. I have been holding off on that, needing instead to process it with friends, a specialist in PPD/Baby Blues, and in my own soul.

I've never really had anything like depression. I know I'm lucky for that reason. My baseline truly is "happy" and "content." I have dark parts, of course, but nothing hormonal or chemical. I've always sympathized with those who suffer from depression, and now I know how devastating it can feel.

I also know that this will not last forever.

I feel that now, with lots of work and love, I have begun to move past the suffering we endured and move into the bliss of enjoying my baby and being a new mommy!

His body is covered in soft sweet skin and his mother's tears, his father's kisses.

Brigitte told me the other day that the word for "baby" in Bali translates into "one whose feet never touch the ground."

We hold him, cradle him, love him, rock him, swaddle him, swing him, bounce him all in our arms. It's lovely. I love that his feet never touch the ground. He has met many of his relatives; it really touches me that so many people have been anxious to meet him. His aunt Maria was here last weekend. My uncle Ken and aunt Jean were here and all got to hold him and let him know how loved he is by so many people.

He has become more interactive these days, smiling and cooing and "talking" to me both while breastfeeding and while just hanging out. I tell him all the time that he is my favorite person in the world, and he is.

I try to take him outside at least once a day. We tried taking him out in his stroller tonight -- it's so mild and peaceful out -- but he didn't dig it. We will try again.

He rides like a champ in the car.

He loves hanging out with Papa, especially in his wrap. Papa loves working with baby on board.

I'm getting more sleep; we like to take long naps between feedings. And that includes my feedings.

My friends have rallied and brought us food almost every other day of Andrew Bodhi's life; this has meant so much to all of us, and the food that's been brought has been CRAZY DEL ICIOUS.

We will spend Thanksgiving here at Uncle Mike's house.

And I will write more and more, especially as we get this feeding/sleeping thing worked out. Right now the two Andrews are watching a movie.

But I wanted ya'll to know it was safe/good to call us now, to come over, to hang out and chat. I still welcome high-calorie snacks and food, smoothies, good company, loving friendship. Trashy magazines. CD mixes.